


Welcome to the witching hour

by middlemarch



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Female Friendship, Gen, Magic, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 15:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11084052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/middlemarch/pseuds/middlemarch
Summary: When her letter had come, Paula could not have imagined she'd ever find herself in this situation.





	Welcome to the witching hour

“There’s a way around the curses being Unforgivable,” Rebecca said. She didn’t even bother to lower her voice, not very much, aware that whispering would draw more attention. Or she couldn’t imagine anyone would have a problem with what she had said. Paula gave it 60-40 being the latter. First year, she would have hissed a scandalized response but by now, she knew better and just took a swig of her pumpkin juice.

“I swear you did something to the Sorting Hat to get it to put you into Gryffindor.”

The Hogwarts rumor mill worked overtime before Sorting but it could never quite cover everything and the best gossip was usually about younger brothers or sisters breaking the family tradition, ending up in a House no one expected. No one had known Rebecca Bunch or any of her relatives, no one had noticed a mousy brown-haired girl who hummed under her breath and so no one had been terrifically surprised or interested when the Hat had announced, in retrospect in a rather choked up voice and rhyme that hadn’t precisely scanned, that Gryffindor had a new witch to join its coven. But as the days passed, from within the cozy, reliable comfort of the Hufflepuff den, Paula Proctor wondered and decided Rebecca was a mystery to be solved, one that a spell might not unravel, nor charm reveal. Paula’s mother, a practical witch, had had Paula’s complete collection of Nancy Drew novels Reduced into a tidy brown-paper package tied up with string that arrived one breakfast between the hovering platters of eggs and dangling rashers, and those were what Paula had relied upon.

“You don’t have to swear, Paula. Really! And you say it like it would be that hard, to outsmart that worn out bit of felt and spangles,” Rebecca said, continuing to eat the porridge that was half cream and deluged with sultanas.

“So you admit it!” Paula crowed a little, just a little, because it wasn’t like Rebecca really tried to keep secrets but the arc of the Nancy Drew story called for such a declaration and who was Paula to upset the narrative apple-cart? She’d do it for something important, like True Love or getting an iPod to work well enough for Moaning Myrtle to play a game of Candy Crush, but she had standards.

“Um, yes. You didn’t?” Rebecca asked, her spoon in mid-air, first in her hand and then just floating as she started to gesticulate dramatically.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t choose to be in Hufflepuff? That you let the Hat just tuck you there? Well, there’s nothing written that says you can’t leave your House, even if it hasn’t been done since 1527 when Alys de Courcey moved to Ravenclaw as a third-year,” Rebecca exclaimed, winding herself down with the quasi-relevant historical anecdote that made some people call her “Granger” when they thought she wasn’t listening.

“I’m fine where I am,” Paula replied. “But who told you how to…snooker the Sorting Hat? Or was it sweet-talk?”

“No, it was your classic blackmail,” Rebecca said easily. “I’m surprised you even have to ask, Miss Marple,” she teased. Paula thought for a moment, considered the possibilities, an eleven year old witch, the Hogwarts Express, the platform…

“Your mother?” Paula asked, knowing it had to be true, that there was no red herring or deus ex machina that could otherwise explain it.

“Of course. She told me I had to earn the Garfinkel ring, I had to show her I had the chutzpah and if there’s one House that’s about chutzpah, it’s Gryffindor. That stupid Hat wanted to put me in Ravenclaw, like I’d ever get the ring that way,” Rebecca said.

“But, it’s not just about the Garfinkel ring,” Paula began.

“Shut your mouth, Paula Proctor! Yes, it is, if you’re a Garfinkel. The rest of this is just…party tricks,” Rebecca interrupted, her cheeks bright red. She did sound fairly Gryfinddor at the moment; maybe they were growing on her.

“But you’re a Bunch,” Paula tried.

“Nope. I mean, yes, that’s my surname, but it doesn’t mean anything. I’m a Garfinkel witch and I have to earn the ring, like every witch in my matrilineal line since Lilith left Adam. And during the Carolignian Interregnum, some Veela got in there too,” Rebecca explained. It did make sense, how little Rebecca cared about classes even though she broke the curve on every exam, how Josh and Nathaniel and even surly, sarcastic Gregory from Slytherin couldn’t seem to resist her, and how she sometimes spoke of Hogwarts as a “Johnny-come-lately institution, _nouveau_ if not exactly _riche_.”

“Don’t you want to hear about the Unforgivables? Or rather, how to make them Unobjectionables?” Rebecca asked. “There was a case in 1124 in Segovia that got me thinking about it…”

**Author's Note:**

> This is in response to poolsidescientist's request for a Hogwarts AU-- I hope the House assignments and their manner are satisfying...
> 
> The title is a quotation from a Nancy Drew novel _Treasure in the Royal Tower_.


End file.
